I'd say my mental health was the stuff they picked up first. I was suicidal by at least 6 years old, but as mental illness in infants is disputed amongst the psychological field, it was generally ignored so I thought it was normal until I learnt more and more about psychology (a family and personal interest) and realised it definitely wasn't normal. I then spent the next 5 years (12-17) trying to get them to accept and agree I did have some kind of illness and that it did need treating. During this time I was in and out of school and private counselling.
I was self-harming profusely at this point (I'd done so in my infancy but in high school I had access to more typical things to self harm with, so it was more obvious); I came to the Dr with my mom explaining I'd run out of space on my body to self harm unless I started on my face; it was only then that they decided I would need treatment, even if I was under 18 years of age.
At the same time I also had severe chronic anaemia which was being poorly treated with iron tablets although not really solving the issues. All issues such as chest pain, dangerously high heart rate, easy bruising, excessive fatigue and muscle pain could be explained by this, although the treatment was not doing anything to resolve these symptoms.
I started treating myself with B12 and found my iron levels slowly seemed to respond to the iron better in combination, and finally got free of anaemia last year for the first time in a decade!
It was exactly at this point that severe vertigo, migraine with auras, and eye pain caused me to have another blood test which determined I had an underactive thyroid with a incredibly high antibody count (normal is 30 apparently, and mine was 1,300) and a Vitamin D level around 25% of what it should be.
So on to more yummy pills!
I was so in pain I'd been searching for people who could 'stomp on my back' to make it feel better. It took around 2 years to find the term Chiropractor which seemed a much more reasonable alternative! When I had a consultation with one, he found evidence of hypermobility (laxity of the ligaments causing joints to be unstable), curvature of the spine, imbalanced muscles and structural/postural issues. He referred me to an NHS specialist who confirmed I was pretty much hypermobile in every joint; especially the spine and hips. This was found to have started to be a problem when I was 12 as well; a normal thing for this life long condition; for it to worsen or become more evidence during puberty when the skeleton grows suddenly.
Thus my chronic, wide spread and worsening pain was finally confirmed as not just 'in my head' or part of my depression or anaemia, and I was told there has been some long term damage and the referral to the pain clinic will not get rid of chronic pain; which I'm kinda stuck with, but help me to learn to cope with it, and hopefully reduce further damage.
I think the hardest part was being in the years where nothing was considered worthy of investigating; because not only did it invalidate my pain, and made me feel incredibly weak for not coping like everyone else, but I also now understand, it was allowing damage to continue that could have prevented long term damage, such as the spine curvature, my bowed legs and leg/hip misalignment. Such permanent things will undoubtedly cause me more pain in the future and this is not something I want to have to look forward to.
However, the most positive thing was finally getting some answers. Hearing that it is life long and none-curable would upset some, but for me it finally means I'm being told, 'Yes, you were dealing with something painful, and no, you're not weak.' The fact I'm getting taken so seriously now feels a little like an apology and I really hope I'll be given enough opportunities to access things that can help me take control of my illness and learn to make it work for me, so I can live as normally as any individual can (not in comparison to the 'norm' but just for ME).
I was self-harming profusely at this point (I'd done so in my infancy but in high school I had access to more typical things to self harm with, so it was more obvious); I came to the Dr with my mom explaining I'd run out of space on my body to self harm unless I started on my face; it was only then that they decided I would need treatment, even if I was under 18 years of age.
At the same time I also had severe chronic anaemia which was being poorly treated with iron tablets although not really solving the issues. All issues such as chest pain, dangerously high heart rate, easy bruising, excessive fatigue and muscle pain could be explained by this, although the treatment was not doing anything to resolve these symptoms.
I started treating myself with B12 and found my iron levels slowly seemed to respond to the iron better in combination, and finally got free of anaemia last year for the first time in a decade!
It was exactly at this point that severe vertigo, migraine with auras, and eye pain caused me to have another blood test which determined I had an underactive thyroid with a incredibly high antibody count (normal is 30 apparently, and mine was 1,300) and a Vitamin D level around 25% of what it should be.
So on to more yummy pills!
I was so in pain I'd been searching for people who could 'stomp on my back' to make it feel better. It took around 2 years to find the term Chiropractor which seemed a much more reasonable alternative! When I had a consultation with one, he found evidence of hypermobility (laxity of the ligaments causing joints to be unstable), curvature of the spine, imbalanced muscles and structural/postural issues. He referred me to an NHS specialist who confirmed I was pretty much hypermobile in every joint; especially the spine and hips. This was found to have started to be a problem when I was 12 as well; a normal thing for this life long condition; for it to worsen or become more evidence during puberty when the skeleton grows suddenly.
Thus my chronic, wide spread and worsening pain was finally confirmed as not just 'in my head' or part of my depression or anaemia, and I was told there has been some long term damage and the referral to the pain clinic will not get rid of chronic pain; which I'm kinda stuck with, but help me to learn to cope with it, and hopefully reduce further damage.
I think the hardest part was being in the years where nothing was considered worthy of investigating; because not only did it invalidate my pain, and made me feel incredibly weak for not coping like everyone else, but I also now understand, it was allowing damage to continue that could have prevented long term damage, such as the spine curvature, my bowed legs and leg/hip misalignment. Such permanent things will undoubtedly cause me more pain in the future and this is not something I want to have to look forward to.
However, the most positive thing was finally getting some answers. Hearing that it is life long and none-curable would upset some, but for me it finally means I'm being told, 'Yes, you were dealing with something painful, and no, you're not weak.' The fact I'm getting taken so seriously now feels a little like an apology and I really hope I'll be given enough opportunities to access things that can help me take control of my illness and learn to make it work for me, so I can live as normally as any individual can (not in comparison to the 'norm' but just for ME).